The following quotations are taken from official court records of the USA, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
- Witness: "No."
- Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
- Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
- Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
- Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
- Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
- Witness: "Yes."
- Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
- Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
- Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
- Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
- Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
- Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "How old are you?"
- Witness: "Oral."
- Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
- Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
- Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
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